This time last year I was flying home to say goodbye to my Mom forever. I didn’t realize that she would pass just a few hours after I arrived. I thought I would have more time with her. Not that it was quality time at that point anyway…she was unconscious and being fed sublingual medicines to keep her out of pain. It was really hard to see my strong, beautiful Mother like that. She wasn’t there anymore. It was just her shell. So in many ways, it was a blessing when she passed but I guess… I guess I thought I would have more time to touch her and smell her and know that she was still in this dimension with me.
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Choosing to be a professional Artist is not a smooth road. Every step is through quicksand. But it’s a quicksand that sparkles with ground up diamonds with a view of glittering galaxies and shooting stars like you’ve never seen and at the end is a unicorn just for you.
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I wake up every day and battle my demons because that is what we do as humans. We love, we lose, we have joy, we have pain. We are so aware that awareness itself becomes a battle. The thing about myself that I am certain of though …. I only walk in wonderful directions. And even among all the heartache that I am enduring at the moment, I know I will find that joyful path again.
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Hyphae will be at Krblin Jihn Kabin in Joshua Tree, CA on Saturday, Nov. 2, 2019 from Dusk until Sunrise.
Religious leader Krblin Jihn lived in this cabin under house arrest after a rival sect defeated his Jihn Wranglikans in a long war. For one night only, Hyphae will pay Krblin Jihn a visit.
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I've been eating scraps and bits because I don't want to go to the store. I backed out of 7 appointments with friends over the last week. I can’t remember the last time I had a proper shower. Letting dishes pile and trash go longer than normal, I’m in a creative trance and I can't be bothered with any universe outside of mine.
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With my sights set on extending my fiber optic sculpture Hyphae, for my 4 weeks on The Playa I only brought materials to explore very specific things.
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I’ve been finding myself keeping an eye on weather a lot more than normal lately. Los Angeles, like the rest of the world, has been experiencing a lot of weird shit.
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This past weekend Tom and I decided to take our chances with the Blood Wolf Moon and drive out to Alabama Hills, California to install our 3rd off-grid light sculpture.
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Two Spanish women and me in a VW bus rushing checkpoint to checkpoint on a 170km trail race across France, Italy and Switzerland. Our jobs were essentially to make sure our friend, Biel, didn’t die.
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I got home at 11:30PM on Sunday, December 16. Mom died 5 hours later.
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